You Can Do Better

You know your relationship is bad when it makes it into a magazine article.


In the summer of 2009, I lived in Maxwell Terrace with my friend and (then) stand partner, Robyn. Her apartment happened to be directly above Julia’s and it was actually through this coincidence that Julia and I became such close friends.

During one of the many EPICALLY fun-filled days spent with Julia and Robyn, we found ourselves scrolling through a blog entitled “You Can Do Better”. The blog consisted of mainly one or two line phrases sent in by readers of the blog, where each entry was presented with a hypothetical “If” followed by a recap of a significant other’s atrocious actions…They then concluded with “then you can do better”.

For example:

“If he invites you over to his house and leaves you there to go to the bars with all of his friends, then you can do better.”

Having read all of the posts, we all figured, ‘shit…we can top these stories no problem’, and proceeded to create our own list. In total we came up with nearly 25 examples between the three of us. While it might not seem like the healthiest method, it ended up becoming a pretty therapeutic experience, although I’ll admit somewhat disheartening.

But the really ironic part came a week later, when the editor of the blog posted a link to an article in Marie Claire Magazine. As it turned out, an editorial journalist had written a column about the blog. It gave a brief description complete with ten entries that stood out as potentially the worst cases.

I would have laughed if one of mine had made it into the article, and maybe even considered myself honored had there been two. But of the ten examples listed, I recognized four of them as my own. There’s nothing like a perfect stranger telling you your boy friend is complete asshole to put it all into perspective.

Unfortunately, experience is the best teacher; and thus a crappy year and a half later, I think it’s safe to say that Julia and I both have become at least slightly wiser about relationships and boys in general. So here we present a list of revised ‘you can do betters’ from our various and sometimes mutual experiences, so that the random straggler that stumbles onto our lowly site might gain some knowledge from our losses…

If a dude’s ex threatens to kill you, then you can do better.

If he never once told you that you are beautiful…then you can do better.

If he is more into Justin Bieber than you….then you can do better.

If he admits that he purposefully hurts you so that he can make someone else as ‘empty and cold’ as himself…

….Really? This doesn’t even deserve a response….

If he constantly calls you an alcoholic…you can do better? (Julia…I’m not sure that’s his fault…) jk ;P

If he has a “non-romantic life partner”…know that they will always come first, and you can do better.

If you drunk chat and text a dude daily, but find yourself avoiding them in person, it’s probably not the healthiest relationship.

If the Colts come before your recital, you can do better.

If he throws up on you while you’re making out…probably best to just walk away.

If he’s more concerned with using your apt’s hot tub and pool than the fact that you’re breaking up with him, you should know by now that you can do better.

If you would rather spend time with the dude’s pet than the dude himself, you probably can do better.

If he doesn’t know how to return library items, you can do better.

And lastly, if at any point you can describe him as an “old lady”, you can do better.


“You can do better” Blog:

Article from Marie Claire:         (ex: 1, 4, 8, and 9)


4 thoughts on “You Can Do Better

      • HAHAHAHAHHAAHHHAAHA i don’t know what you were talking about…I found this pretty hilarious. I’ll write more…I’m at the point of falling asleep right now, but SINCE WE DON’T HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW… 🙂 🙂

        • If his method of apologizing includes a mixed-CD containing various country songs, amongst songs by Michael Jackson, Rhianna, and (my personal favorite) “I want you back” by N’SYNC….you can better.

          Seriously…you’ve gotta at LEAST put some baller Mahler on that baby to get my attention!

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